"Mighty" Mike McGee's Electronic Place of Himself.
Typings of a well-traveled, talky, funny, hobo-poet.
LOCAL EMMY AWARD FOR SPOKEN WORD
Congrats to Bluz of Charlotte, North Carolina for his Emmy win. I know a poet with an Emmy! That’s rad. Not sure of all the details, but I hear it was for a local promo.
FRIDAY NIGHT
Some wonderful people came by my house on Friday to celebrate Cynthia French’s birthday. Great conversations and some Bananagrams in the living room. I baked a cake, Melinda baked cupcakes. We had to use Tony Brown’s oven since ours won’t stay below 550 degrees no matter what we set it to. Anybody have any ideas?
Tony came upstairs as we were getting underway to tell us that he just watched Shane Koyczan perform at the Olympics.
GABRIELLE
Discovered the city of Buffalo, New York declared February 14 “Gabrielle Bouliane Day.” That is just so cool. Maybe next year a bunch of us should book a show there and truly celebrate her special day. The Bunny Up Show!
———
Word to the nerd.
This entry was written by , posted on 14 February, 2010 at 3:51 PM, filed under Personal Updates and tagged birthday, bluz, cynthia french, gabrielle bouliane, party, shane koyczan. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
LOCAL EMMY AWARD FOR SPOKEN WORD
Congrats to Bluz of Charlotte, North Carolina for his Emmy win. I know a poet with an Emmy! That’s rad. Not sure of all the details, but I hear it was for a local promo.
FRIDAY NIGHT
Some wonderful people came by my house on Friday to celebrate Cynthia French’s birthday. Great conversations and some Bananagrams in the living room. I baked a cake, Melinda baked cupcakes. We had to use Tony Brown’s oven since ours won’t stay below 550 degrees no matter what we set it to. Anybody have any ideas?
Tony came upstairs as we were getting underway to tell us that he just watched Shane Koyczan perform at the Olympics.
GABRIELLE
Discovered the city of Buffalo, New York declared February 14 “Gabrielle Bouliane Day.” That is just so cool. Maybe next year a bunch of us should book a show there and truly celebrate her special day. The Bunny Up Show!
———
Word to the nerd.
Originally published at Mike McGee Town. You can comment here or there.
This entry was written by , posted on at 3:51 PM, filed under Personal Updates and tagged birthday, blackberry mobile post, bluz, cynthia french, gabrielle bouliane, party, personal updates, shane koyczan. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
SHANE KOYCZAN @ THE VANCOUVER OLYMPICS
Holy shit. Wow.
I gotta say, when I heard Shane closed out the 2010 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony with a revised version of his poem, “We Are More” it was the first time I’ve ever regretted not having broadcast or cable television.
Does this mean his poem was translated into a dozens of languages? NEAT!
Even though I missed it, I am confident in his skill to get the audience to listen. Miss ya, brother.
GABRIELLE BOULIANE DAY
Rachel McKibbens posted this on Facebook:
The Buffalo mayor made a memorial proclamation that Valentine’s Day is officially going to be “Gabrielle Bouliane Day” in Buffalo, forever, starting Sunday. Rec-a-nize!!!
So awesome.
———
Word to the nerd.
Bunny up.
This entry was written by , posted on 13 February, 2010 at 3:56 PM, filed under Uncategorized and tagged 2010 winter olympics, British Columbia, buffalo, gabrielle bouliane day, new york, shane koyczan, Vancouver. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
SHANE KOYCZAN @ THE VANCOUVER OLYMPICS
Holy shit. Wow.
I gotta say, when I heard Shane closed out the 2010 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony with a revised version of his poem, “We Are More” it was the first time I’ve ever regretted not having broadcast or cable television.
Does this mean his poem was translated into a dozens of languages? NEAT!
Even though I missed it, I am confident in his skill to get the audience to listen. Miss ya, brother.
GABRIELLE BOULIANE DAY
Rachel McKibbens posted this on Facebook:
The Buffalo mayor made a memorial proclamation that Valentine’s Day is officially going to be “Gabrielle Bouliane Day” in Buffalo, forever, starting Sunday. Rec-a-nize!!!
So awesome.
———
Word to the nerd.
Bunny up.
Originally published at Mike McGee Town. You can comment here or there.
This entry was written by , posted on at 3:56 PM, filed under Personal Updates and tagged 2010 winter olympics, British Columbia, buffalo, gabrielle bouliane day, new york, shane koyczan, Vancouver. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
When I first entered the realm of spoken word and poetry slam, I had a run in the Bay Area as a "Weird Al" of the scene by writing parodies of works by local poets. I believe Yankovic is a genius and he is certainly the nicest notable person I’ve ever met. I thoroughly enjoy his work.
However, my favorite of my own parodies is my take on Shane Koyczan’s "Beethoven" (tip-o-the-hat to Ms. Spelt.) My version is called "Boyardee" and I feel as though it is the most dead-on parody I’ve ever written. I love parodies, and I find that they tend to get my creative electricities all charged up. They’re also good practice for trying to understand what and why a poet/writer does what they do with words.
I’d love it if poets would submit one spoken word poem to me for parody. Submit your original work, by MP3 AND text. My parodies are much better when I can hear the tone the poet uses with each line.
Send them to ilikemike at my Gmail address. Post a comment here to say you’ve sent something so I can keep a record of who is interested in this.
I will write the parodies and make every attempt to record them and post them here on my LiveJournal.
Below you will find a poem of mine to parody as you wish. If you can record it, I’d love to share the text and audio here.
You will also find the texts of the Koyczan and Mojgani parodies I’ve written.
Let the mockery begin!
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Word to the nerd.
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SOUL FOOD: A DUEL WITH DEATH AT LUNCHTIME
© 2001 Mike McGee
So last week the Angel of Death comes knocking at my door
Totally interrupting Perfect Strangers
And I’m like, “Dude, you are so early! There is so much more I wanted to do with my life!”
“You’ve had plenty of time for that!”
“You know, you sound a bit like Sean Connery.”
“No, he sounds a bit like me.”
"Whatever, dude. There’s gotta be some sort of loop-hole. What if we competed for my soul? Like some sort of contest."
“I love a good challenge. If we can both agree on one, then the winner may keep your soul.”
At this point I remembered I had a pot a ramen noodles waiting for me on the stove. The Angel of Death was lured into my kitchen by the sweet aromatic joy of powdered shrimp flavoring. I could see that Death was hungry, so I made a second pack of Ramen. We sat and ate in silence, but my hunger just wouldn’t subside. So while I raided the fridge, I noticed Death scoping my Rice Krispy Treats.
“Still hungry, dude?”
“We’ll take one for the road.” he said.
And we both put a Rice Krispy treat in our pockets.
“Actually, I could probably eat half of all your food.”
“So could I, dude, so could I.”
And it hit us both at the same time. We pulled out every bit of food in my house and divided it all into equal halves. We had one rule: First person to finish eating their half of food keeps my soul.
We sat down on the kitchen floor surrounded by an odd buffet. The world’s greatest food challenge began. But this was no ordinary match.
I took an early lead as Death fumbled opening a can of refried beans. I plowed through a dozen eggs and half a gallon of milk. I strategically swallowed spoonful after spoonful of leftover lasagna, without chewing. Death caught up to me with a tub of butter and half a soggy pumpkin pie. I hustled my way through cans of corn, green beans, kidney beans, chili, chicken soup, fruit cocktail, and a few cans of peas, but I was stopped dead in my tracks by a mystery can. It’s label missing and nowhere to be found. Damn, dog food! No time to think, I had to eat it.
Death was now ahead of me by two-cans of beer, a frozen steak and what we think may have been tamales. I burped to make room and continued on in the feast for my soul. I ate broccoli, cauliflower, cucumbers, oranges, bananas, a container of baking powder, two cups of salt & pepper, a jug of Pepto-Bismol and a can of whipped cream. We reached our last item of food. One. Raw. Potato. Each. We slowly gnawed our way through the raw potatoes, swallowing our last bites at the exact same time. It appeared as though we had a draw. Then Death looked to me with a sly grin and handed me a Tupperware bowl with my half of uneaten Jello. I grabbed a straw and sucked it down, saying:
“There’s always room for Jello, bitch!”
But Death just smiled and said, “I believe I finished my half before you. Your soul is mine.”
But I just outsmiled him and said, “What’s that in your pocket, hooker?”
His face sunk as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the last Rice Krispy Treat.
He looked to me with fear as I handed him my wrapper, and swallowed a mouthful of crispy, marshmallow goodness. “I believe I win, fucker.”
With that, the Angel of Death bowed and vanished.
I sat down to an episode of Full House and ordered a pizza…
cuz there’s never anything to eat at my house.
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BOYARDEE
(to Shane Koyczan’s ”Beethoven”)
© 2001 Mike McGee
Taste it
His father made a habit out of frying them
See
Some men bake
Some men broil
Some men sautee their food
This man did it all
because I guess all men want their boys to be chefs
Boyardee
Little boy living in a house where the size of your hat meant nothing
Living in a house where groceries had to be earned
through each tasty morsel
served from the kitchen to tantalize the teeth of angels
whose hunger couldn’t be filled by anyone
other than this young boy
who had destroyed his tastebuds
Boyardee
Who tasted his fathers cooking every time he put tongue to taco
It was
not HOT enough
so he cooked hotter
not SOON enough
so he cooked faster
Not CULTURED enough
so he brought in a Hibachi
Not GOOD enough
and when he could taste no more
when his throat swelled up from the odd concoction of spices
it was
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
Boyardee
A culinary master
without his most precious tool
His tongue could no longer taste the meals he made in his mind
He couldn’t hear the people eating
He couldn’t hear them pigging out
He couldn’t hear the waiters tell the women in the restaurant that the chefs name was
Boyardee
As they let the mouthfuls invade their stomachs
like a snail sliding through
slinging meatballs
paralyzing every nerve in their bodies
like explosions of mustard gas
Each bite leaving drip marks over every inch of their chest
Making them hungry for one more
HELPING
He was an addiction
and kings/queens
it didn’t matter
The man got down on his knees for lasagna
but people amputated their legs
just to be closer to the food he dropped on the
FLOOR
The man got down on his knees for MATZO
And when the culinary academy made his recipes
it was the bile of his fathers tacos
bur-burping-burp-burping itself up into his throat
It was
not HOT enough
so he cooked hotter
not SOON enough
so he cooked faster
not CULTURED enough
so he brought in a frenchman
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
so they tried to mock the chef
make fun of his meals
by mimicking his movements
holding their ladels
a quarter of an inch above the pot
not stirring the soup
It was
burning
See
The chefs have this intimacy with food
it’s there in their dreams
and the culinary students turned to one another
not knowing what to do about the soup
trying to calculate the distance between
them and the firehose
Realizing that Boyarees ingredient measurements
could take you to dining rooms far past
the tables of Burger King
Turning golden arches into symbols, crashing togethercausing people to cry
creating a mob so large
they shook the restaurant until the lights began to fall fromt he ceiling
and it looked like the entire world had come to eat
TV dinners must be an illusion
The man must be a genius
Boyardee
His knife chopping at the speed of a food processor
Transforming beef into meatloaf
(My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R)
And after 45 minutes at 375 degrees
it was like canned food was a marketable thing
Like you could sell it
like for the first time
we could eat ravioli and tortellini
off the same plate of such fine china
that we finally understood
the packaging wasn’t important
to know the man and his food
all we ever had to do was
Taste it
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BUST THE DUST
© 2007 Mike McGee
(to Anis Mojgani’s "Shake The Dust")
this is for the flatulent girls
this is for the little bubblers
this is for the schoolyard whiffs and for the childhood booties that
tormented them
for the formidable prom queef and for the intolerant milk drinkers
for the nighttime dutch oveners
and for the retired elderly "I farted in the elevator" door greeters
fart the dust
this is for the benches and the people sharting upon them
for the bus drivers inhaling a million broken winds
for the men who have to hold in three pops simply to hold onto their women
for the night pooers
and for the midnight butt lighters trying to flame
fart the dust
for the two year olds who cannot be understood
because they fart half liquid
and half not
fart the dust
for the boys with the booty–full sisters
fart the dust
for the girls with the brothers who are blowing lazy
for those gym class rope climbers
for the 12 year olds afraid of making public sours
for the kid who’s always late to class cuz he forgets beans loosen his pucker
for the girl who loves somebody else’s brand
fart the dust
this
is for the bloated men who want to fart but know that it won’t come
for the ones who aren’t fartin’
the ones you have to stand up for
for the ones who are told to squeak only when you are solo and then
are never solo
squeak every time you stand
so you do not shart yourself
do not let a moment go by that doesn’t remind you that your butt
farts 900 times a day
and that there is enough gas to make you a truck stop
do not settle for letting these fumes settle and for the dust to collect
in your jeans
this is for the silent-vowed monk who keeps on struggling
for the potty trainers and for the people who go on vacations to fart
for the sweat that collects between mick jagger’s stinging cheeks
and for the flapping skirt on tina turner’s flapping apple
for the heavens and for the hells through which tina has put her husband
this is for the dry ones and for the creamers
for the families that will never be true believers
in perfectly silent keesters
with butts not smelly with fever
this is for the spigots
for the flexists
and for the spillers
for the big, loud fart contestants becoming winners
and for the cloud trail
that always seems to show up right after the sprinters
this is for you
make sure that by the time the smell returns
you are gone again
cuz thanks to indigestion
i burn at both ends
and every time i eat
every time i open my mouth
i am creating a fart from myself to give to you
so
fart the dust
and shake my hand when you do
for none of this has ever been for me
all that hushes and lulls
hushes for you
so grab this world by its buttcheeks
and fart it out again
and again
and hop on top
and take it for a spin
and when you stop to cough
fart it again
for this is yours
make my gas worth it
make this not just another wind that i push out
not
just another wind like
just another fart that sits heavy in my bowels
walk into it
breath
it in!
let it creep through the hallways of your colon
like the millions of years of millions of farts
coursing like poop
pumping and pushing
making you cringe
farting the dust
so when a fart knocks at your butt
clutch your pants tightly
and pull them on down
running forward into the world’s unsuspecting faces
with your ass before you
buttcheeks
trembling
though they may be
This entry was written by , posted on 29 July, 2009 at 10:37 PM, filed under Personal Updates and tagged anis mojgani, beethoven, mike mcgee, parodies, parody, poetry, shake the dust, shane koyczan, soul food, spoken word, submissions, text. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Shane, C.R. and I went into a studio this week to record our second, as yet untitled album. It took us about sixteen hours to lay down 11 basic tracks, with four of them being pretty much done as is.
We were there for the majority of two days, unlike the week and two studios it took to create our first album.
This one’s gonna sound pretty sweet, pretty, and sweet. Certain tracks are going to bump, others will lull. The rest are very much T.O.F.U.
Mine and Shane’s work on it is done; now it’s just up to C.R. to bust out his producer wand and make it all gibe and jam. He and I will be at Lime (formerly Rime) on The Drive this Monday night.
So, I am just relaxing in Vancouver through the weekend. It’s great, but cold and wet.
Got to hang out with K80 F-S and a whole slew of Van peeps. I’ll see Alvin Lau this weekend, and then I’ll see Miss Knowles for a couple of days. Man, is she ever missed…
Oh! This is pretty sweet too…
Word to the nerd.
2007: Go For It!
This entry was written by , posted on 14 December, 2007 at 8:47 AM, filed under Uncategorized and tagged alvin lau, c.r. avery, indiana jones, k80 f-s, miss knowles, new album, recording, shane koyczan, sweetness, tons of fun university, Vancouver. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Shane, C.R. and I went into a studio this week to record our second, as yet untitled album. It took us about sixteen hours to lay down 11 basic tracks, with four of them being pretty much done as is.
We were there for the majority of two days, unlike the week and two studios it took to create our first album.
This one’s gonna sound pretty sweet, pretty, and sweet. Certain tracks are going to bump, others will lull. The rest are very much T.O.F.U.
Mine and Shane’s work on it is done; now it’s just up to C.R. to bust out his producer wand and make it all gibe and jam. He and I will be at Lime (formerly Rime) on The Drive this Monday night.
So, I am just relaxing in Vancouver through the weekend. It’s great, but cold and wet.
Got to hang out with K80 F-S and a whole slew of Van peeps. I’ll see Alvin Lau this weekend, and then I’ll see Miss Knowles for a couple of days. Man, is she ever missed…
Oh! This is pretty sweet too…
Word to the nerd.
2007: Go For It!
Originally published at Posted on MikeMcGee.net. You can comment here or there.
This entry was written by , posted on at 8:47 AM, filed under Personal Updates and tagged alvin lau, c.r. avery, indiana jones, k80 f-s, miss knowles, new album, recording, shane koyczan, sweetness, tons of fun university, Vancouver. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Been in Chicago for a bit. Been entertaining the notion of staying even longer. It’s a damn fine city. I must give it up to Alvin Lau. The man is one of the best hosts a touring poet could ask for. Lovely place. Great neighborhood. Thank you, my new friend. I appreciate the time we had to hang out. Being a touring poet himself, he understands the needs of bearded chubbies.
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I have a lot coming up. A potential tour with Robbie Q. And another with Anis Mojgani and Shane Koyczan.
You can find more of my future gigs at my Myspace profile: myspace.com/mikemcgee
In November, I return to L.A. for a great series of shows with In-Q, Dez Hope, Joe Hernandez-Kolski, and DJ Jedi.
“When Two Worlds Collide: an evening of poetry and music”
Highways Performance Space
1651 18th Street (1/2 block North of Olympic)
Santa Monica, CA 90404
November 16 – 18 at 8:30pm
COST: Thursday, November 16th – PAY WHAT YOU CAN
Friday, November 17th — $20 general + $15 student/group
Saturday, November 18th — $20 general + $15 student/group
(A limited number of $10 tix available at www.goldstarevents.com)
HOW: Purchase tickets online at www.highwaysperformance.org or call (310) 315-1459
When Two Worlds Collide is an evening of what can be considered the next generation of poetry and music. Drawing from a wealth of backgrounds, the artists performing at Highways Performance Space, November 16 – 18, are some of the best at their craft. Emmy award-winning producer and two-time HBO Def Poet, Joe Hernandez-Kolski, was approached by Leo Garcia, Artistic Director of Highways Performance Space, to put together an evening of work. So Joe got excited and surrounded himself with some of the most talented performers from the west coast. “These are the artists who inspire me,” says Joe. 2006 Individual World Poetry Slam Champion Mike McGee arrives from San Jose; In-Q, a numerous slam champion and one of the most prolific Hip-Hop MCs, arrives from Santa Monica; Dez Hope, the “Mexican Bob Dylan with beats” brings his guitar and looping machine from Boyle Heights; DJ Jedi carries his turntables and mixer and vast music catalog from Culver City; and Joe Hernandez-Kolski makes his way from Chicago (via Mar Vista, baby!) to bring you an evening of poetry and music guaranteed to provoke laughter and thought.
–––––––––
Word to the nerd.
This entry was written by , posted on 1 November, 2006 at 10:07 AM, filed under Personal Updates and tagged alvin lau, anis mojgani, chicago, dez hope, dj jedi, in-q, joseph hernandez-kolski, los angeles, robbie q, shane koyczan. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.