A lot of numbered lists of random things about my friends are being posted around Facebook and LiveJournal. It’s a fun meme. Geoff Trenchard posted a fantastic list in the persona of Aesop Rock, which was inspired by this “William Shakespeare” list.

Geoff, once again!, inspired my list below, written in the voice of Barney Rubble.

My own personal list from December can be found here: 33 Things About Me

25 Things You May Not Know About Barney Rubble
© 2009 Mike McGee

1. While it doesn’t bother most of my friends or family, I don’t like calloused feet. Because of this, I prefer catching the bus to work or carpooling with Fred.

2. I took Wilma to our Junior Prom. I kissed her good night on my tippy toes. She leaned down for me. It was real nice.

3. I love gardening and planting vegetables. Nobody does it around here. They say it ain’t natural. They say I’m crazy to spend all that time in the dirt. I think people might get used to it.

4. I hate my job. It pays good, but them rocks is heavy and I’m too short for most things.

5. Fred saved my life twice. I’m pretty clumsy, but lucky that Fred’s always around to get my head out of tight situations. He has been my friend since F.D. Rockevelt Elementary School. We started out not liking each other though. I am glad that changed.

6. Betty’s older than me. Not a lot, but she’s taught me a lot of things about life and ladies. She’s a real good lady. Sweet as punch and super smart.

7. I would never name a kid after a sound. Bam Bam named himself. We had to let him cos he made such a loud fuss. I wanted to call him Matthew.

8. I feel really calm when I am sewing. Patching up holes in my skins, fixing up curtains and such. It makes me quiet. I like the quiet.

9. I also make these things out of soft hides that are like shirts for your legs. I’ve made two sets that I wear around the house to keep stuff warm from the waist down. I think people would laugh at me if I wore them outside the house though.

10. I don’t really like Fruity Pebbles all that much, I just like messin’ with Fred.

11. I ain’t never gone fishing or hunting. I don’t think I could do it.

12. Fred’s dog Dino was the son of my dog, Dina. He was the only one who lived outta the whole litter. Dina was the greatest dog ever. I miss her a whole lot. She was surely my best friend until Betty came around. I have never told this to Fred.

13. I really, really like how vegetables taste. Never really cared much for sabertooth steak. Betty says I’m like a bird. I guess I am weird for eating all these plants when there’s so much meat around.

14. People say nowadays that kids got no respect. That they don’t know what the world was like before we had fire. I remember, and it was real bad. I’m really glad they don’t gotta know what it was like. They were some dark times.

15. I always wanted to try stand-up comedy. I like it when people are happy. Laughing is so great. I love to laugh.

16. I don’t like getting into sticky situations with Fred. I think it hurts Wilma and Pebbles the most. Fred didn’t use to be like that.

17. My favorite color is brown. If I could paint, I would use a lot of it.

18. Betty don’t want no more kids. I want a daughter. Bam Bam would be so protective of his little sister. I would name her Fiona.

19. I am fascinated with volcanoes.

20. I once started a business selling flowers. We went outta business in the first year.

21. I am a really good pool player. I like angles and figuring out how to hit the rocks into the holes.

22. I think we use animals too much for everyday things. We seem to be getting real lazy.

23. I like pie. Any kind of pie. I’ll even eat a meat pie. But I’m not very good at making them.

24. I have a diary I scratch into every once in while. Had it ever since high school. First  time I put something down on rock was the day I met Betty. She hasn’t aged a day since. In my whole life, she’s the only thing I fought for and won.

25. I had a girlfriend in high school who used to get roughed up by her dad. She would stay at my house after school and eat dinner with my family. She never wanted to go home. We all really liked her, but they moved around a lot so we lost touch for a while. She’s the one who really got me into a different kind of thinking. She taught me about gardening. When her dad passed away, she married a rich guy and they moved around a lot, but this time, it was really nice, big houses. I met him once. Good guy. He thanked me for keeping her happy. They always send us gift baskets from across the world. I miss her laugh. She was fun. It’s been ten years since she visited. I hope she’s okay.

Originally published at Mike McGee Town. You can comment here or there.

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This entry was written by Mike McGee, posted on 10 February, 2009 at 11:09 AM, filed under Personal Updates and tagged 25 things, 33 things, barney rubble, facebook, ideas, livejournal, memes, persona, poem, random lists, writing. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.