"Mighty" Mike McGee's Electronic Place of Himself.
Typings of a well-traveled, talky, funny, hobo-poet.
Hey, poetry slammers and regulars. Please read and enjoy this list. Feel free to add to it in the comments. In the spirit of roasting my homies and with lots of love:
You might be a slam poet if…
…the only team you’ve ever been on included 3 other poets.
…you prefer judging someone silently, in a corner and pouting, rather than with numbers.
…you call running away from responsibility and commitments “going on tour.”
…you think your homemade book of poetry might be worth more than $5.00.
…you think someone will actually read said book of poetry.
…you have made a pact to never date another poet, but break that pact at the drop of a pants.
…you think 8.5 out of 10.0 is a low score.
…you bank all of your vacation time each year to go to the National Poetry Slam.
…you tell everybody at the National Poetry Slam that you’re on vacation and getting paid to be there.
…you wouldn’t dare go to the National Poetry Slam if you had to pay for it yourself.
…you are planning a tour as an excuse to move to another city.
…you sign up at literary readings and open mics to “blow them away” with your “performance skills.”
…you hope that [insert poet name] is going to be at [insert event] because they complimented your work that one time and you were sure they were hitting on you.
…you think a viable career path is: 1. Make a slam team; 2. Win Nationals; 3. Get record/movie/TV deal; 4. Become friends with celebrities; 5. Return to perform at local slam as a huge favor to the scene.
…you love conscious hip-hop AND some country.
…you’ve beaten other people in a competition of words with a poem about unity and peace.
…you’ve met Mos Def.
…you’ve bragged to others (who’ve never heard of poetry slam) that you’re on a slam team.
…you have many recipes for ramen noodles, cheap booze and own a counterfeit monthly bus pass.
…you think your poem about oral copulation can not only win a poetry slam, but also change the world’s view on sexuality.
…you think performing in three to ten venues a year is getting your work “out there/making a difference.”
…you are proud of your lowest score ever.
…you have cried for losing a poetry slam.
…you want to be the next Bukowski, Ginsberg and/or Kerouac.
…you are the next Plath.
…you are seeking fame and notoriety through pretty/vulgar three minute rants.
…still have a Myspace account because it’s where people can listen to your “tracks.”
…the old slam guard won’t acknowledge you.
…you wrote poetry at a coffee shop instead of going to college.
…you have five memorized poems and three of them “do well.”
…you’re “looking” for an agent, but don’t do stand-up, play an instrument, do magic/hypnosis, sing or juggle.
…you slept with anyone in Berkeley, California between 1998 and 2006.
…you’ve toured through Los Angeles and lost money.
…you watched Shane Koyczan’s Olympic performance on YouTube.
…two meals in one day and free drinks is “livin’ it up.”
…you can’t remember that one poet’s name, but you just love them to death.
…you complain about Starbucks, McDonald’s, or WalMart, but can be found at one at some point throughout the year.
…you have Kinko’s/copier experience and have been called “a connection.”
…you have tried out for every team in your region because people are expecting to see you at the National Poetry Slam.
…you wonder how your poems would fair in a New York/Boston/Chicago/Berkeley poetry slam.
…you look forward to traveling with people you can’t stand to an event full of people you can’t stand.
…you snap your fingers when something is good or someone is screwing up.
…you prefer your poetry scene to your own family.
…you’ve ended a full day at an all-night diner with a plate of fries or mozzarella sticks, a glass of water, surrounded by poets, all excited about the event you just left, and thought, “Man, what a great night.”
I guess I am a slam poet.
———
Word to the nerd.
This entry was written by , posted on 8 July, 2010 at 3:49 AM, filed under Poetry Slam Events and tagged humor, Performance Poetry and Spoken Word, poem, poetry, slam poet list, you might be a slam poet. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
For you poetry slam experts, nerds and aficionados…
What is the fairest method of scoring a poetry slam without using the 0.0-10.0 scoring system that also has the least potential for manipulation?
I’m listening.
Been talking with Tony Brown about it. We got into too much math and my brain is now swiss cheese.
———
Word to the nerd.
This entry was written by , posted on 2 July, 2010 at 10:51 PM, filed under Poetry Slam Events and tagged Performance Poetry and Spoken Word, slam judging, slam scoring. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
With all the various poetry slams gearing up for the National Poetry Slam in St. Paul this August (National Poetry Slam), I have been thinking about two ideas involving summertime and slam.
I haven’t been a member of a national poetry slam team since 2004. Seems ages ago. I love most aspects of slam, but I really love the politics and strategy that build up around the events leading to NPS. Ekabhumi and I can chat on the phone for hours and hours on the enigma that becomes poetry slam’s social ramifications.
We’ve joyously discussed (not always agreeing on) every part of what it means to
1) prepare to get on a team
2) ready the whole team while maintaining individual identities
3) strategize in ways that benefits EVERYBODY as best as possible
Poetry slam is not my favorite game. Until the day it limits itself to a square board with letter tiles and word scores, it will only ever be my favorite human sport.
But I do thoroughly enjoy it. In my limited team and individual coaching experience, I have seen numerous positive results — statistically and socially — when performance poets actually listen to me.
In my opinion, NPS is the super bowl of poetry slam (not my words, but I agree), so I firmly stand by the notion that those coming to play the game should play to win, while maintaining a positive outlook on growth, character and art. It’s not easy.
I enjoy the coaching side of poetry slam very much, but I rarely have much time for it.
SUMMER RETREAT IDEAS
IDEA #1
By July, most poetry slam teams know who they’re up against in NPS bouts. By July, I know most of the poets in those bouts. A team makes their way to my house in July. They bring edibles for the whole weekend and we cook and discuss strategy and work on performance. I will book a Kitchen Session for that weekend and they will sign up to read.
It will be mostly conversation.
IDEA #2
Same as above, only I fly to them and spend the weekend in their city. No gigs, just working out kinks and offering ideas.
Either way, I don’t want to make money off of a team, but I don’t want to lose money either. Idea #1 would require team travel. Idea #2 would require a travel ticket for me in which I do not want to pay for.
Idea #2 is easier because I wouldn’t have to limit it to July. If your team is selected in April, and you want my help, that might be possible. I have such a nutty schedule as it is, it would help if I am already coming to your region to perform anyway.
I guess if you know I am coming, and have a team preparing for NPS, or a poet prepping for WoW or IWPS, gimme a holler. I may be down to help.
I love the game, but I love even more the game that happens off stage. It’s probably the most important strategy few poets ever consider before the big game.
———
Word to the nerd.
Originally published at Mike McGee Town. You can comment here or there.
This entry was written by , posted on 9 May, 2010 at 9:39 AM, filed under Poetry Slam Events and tagged coaching, discussion, ideas, performance, retreat, summer, Worcester-Massachusetts. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.